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Thursday, June 01, 2006

Maybe.... Maybe Not.

I am thinking about writing here again...not sure yet. Possibly though....I guess we will just have to see. Do you think I can get in the swing again?

Hmmmm....maybe I just have.

Then again....Maybe Not.

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Monday, December 26, 2005

New direction for Bush Administration...XXX

Over the last five years the Bush Administration has laid in bed with Neocons, corporate lobbyists and (I feel) most significantly, the religious right.

Well no more my friends, no more.

In a stunning reversal of strategy, the Bush Administration has taken up on the side of....Playboy Playmates. Yes, playmates. Really, if you had been watching closely this is no surprise. First, Mary Carey- a porn star- gets invited to the White House. Now, Bush takes the side of Anna Nicole Smith.

This makes total sense to me. If you have to lay in bed with someone, wouldn't you rather it be the adult entertainment industry than a bunch of crusty old men and frigid women?

Maybe...just maybe...Bush is adopting the "Make Love not War" view of the world.

Well Mr. President, I say "Get your freak on!!!!"

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Saturday, December 24, 2005

So Johnny, What would you like for Christmas?

Pope Benedict XVI wins diplomatic immunity in lawsuit alleging Vatican cover-up

Hey Kids!!! Just in time for Christmas! Have your faith tested!!!

The interesting point in this article is NOT that the current Pope is innocent. It is that to proceed with the lawsuit is "incompatible with the United States' foreign policy interests."

24.5% of U.S. citizens identify themselves as Roman Catholic. According to an independent survey, there were 11,000 instances of sexual abuse by a priest between 1950 and 2002. During that time there were 110,000 priests serving in the Catholic Church in the United States...

Number of priests involved- 4,450 Percentage of abusive priests- 4.5%

Wow. I completely understand. There is no reason to worry about a cover-up. Obviously there is no problem here.

Why would anyone be "above the law" when it comes to the safety of our children?

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So what if it is Christmas

Why is Christmas such a big deal?

Before you begin mentally reviewing the comments you are going to make about the birth of our Savior, good will towards men and good ol' traditions- let me finish. Then you can let me know how many different ways my soul will burn in hell. (Please be creative. I do appreciate that.)

Let's start with Christmas is the celebration of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. No, it's not. Don't believe me? Look it up.

First of all, the best historical references we have actually put the birth of Jesus in mid April. However, it would be strange to celebrate his death before his birth each year...hey, maybe if we verified the approximate time of his death we could fix that. I somehow doubt it was the Friday before the 1st weekend in April...(do you want me to tell you why it IS on that date? OK, give me a sec.)

Christmas is set on December 25th because that is when the Roman Empire wanted it. Why? Because the Festival of Satunalia was already on that day! It was the celebration of the winter solstice. The Roman Empire was not blind to the fact that if you wanted people to go along with the new state sponsored religion, then you needed to replace their current festivals with others that were familiar.

BTW- Easter was originally the celebration of the vernal equinox. You know, spring = rebirth. Hmmmmm....most convenient, is it not?

Now I could literally write pages about all so-called 'Christian' traditions that actually were stolen from other, earlier religions. Ever read the Egyptian Book of the Dead? If you have that sitting on your coffee table (as most people do...) then you will find the Ten Commandments. Such a coincidence since the followers of God had just left Egypt.

Anyway- I digress....

The first point I always hear is that exact dates do not matter. We are celebrating the idea. I can understand that. However, you are celebrating the birth of the Son of God...I would assume it would be important to get it right.

So...we are celebrating the idea. The idea that God gave us his son to wash away our sins...by nailing him to a cross. (Now that is twisted.) How are we celebrating it? How many of you have gone to church recently? Or, even in the past year? (Easter does not count) How many of you associate the term "Merry Christmas" to religion except in some vague way?

I just Googled "Merry Christmas" and this is what I found- www.merry-christmas.com...brought to you by the elves!!! Little pagan wood creatures are now bringing you Christmas. I went three pages back in my search and not one site referenced anything having to do with Jesus...although I did find some Clay Aiken Christmas music, so it was close.

I think I have made my point about the religious connection to modern Christmas. Now on to good will towards men...

Hmmmm....can I just call "bullshit" now?

I will admit that, generally, people seem to be a bit nicer around Christmas. Of course they also work less and are not sober as much, so I don't think it is the holiday as much as the break we all get at the end of another long year.

Damn I'm cheery, huh?

Finally- good ol' traditions. OK, it is hard to argue with tradition. Christmas is the only time of year that many full families get together. Get together to eat too much, drink too much and bitch about and at each other...good times! To travel long distances to go somewhere they would probably rather not be and exchange gifts they probably cannot afford. Got to love those traditions...

So what is my point you ask? Did I waste my time (and yours) just to bitch?! Maybe...a little bit.

I am tired of hearing about the so-call "War on Christmas" when the majority of us do not even celebrate Christmas in any sort of religious manner. If you want to have a war on Christmas then look into yourself. Realize that you should treat others better and be thankful of what you have every day of the year. Maybe take that knowledge and pass it down to 'little junior snotnose' instead of hoping he/she might like you for a day because you managed to get an XBox 360 off of Ebay for 3 times what it is worth.

How about this- make an effort to improve someone's life that you do not know...and no, you don't get to deduct it on your taxes.

If you can pull that off, then I have another challenge for you....try to do this all year long. How's that for Christmas spirit?!

Now this is not some "Holier than Thou" type of statement. I am just as (if not more so) guilty of all of these things. So maybe that is the point of all this....

I promise to try harder in the upcoming year if all of you do too.

Oh yeah....

Merry F*cking Christmas

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Friday, December 23, 2005

Maybe if this was the Bin Laden we were after...


Bin Laden's niece bares much in GQ spread


...We would look harder.

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CNN -The "Communist News Network"?


I had a conversation the other night with a friend of mine that has left me confused. I was informed that CNN, MSNBC and all of the other network news shows are secretly promoting communism to the American public. I did not know this!

In addition to this revelation I was informed that FOX News is the last bastion against this insidious invasion of our culture...you know, "The American Way of Life".

Now I know what you are thinking- When did Mr. O'Reilly and I get so close? Is he as much of an ass off camera as on? And- Did he really sexually harass one of his assistants?

Fortunately for myself, this conversation was not with Mr. O'Reilly...I could not afford either the attorney fees nor the therapy needed after that.

This is the confusing part- I consider this individual to be an intelligent and free-thinking individual. He is an artist for pete's sake! (a darn good one at that) So why does he think this? Obviously, I do not think of him as less intelligent just because his views and my views are different... That would be very Republican, I mean wrong of me, wouldn't it?

I will admit that during this conversation I had 'enjoyed' the holiday spirit(s) a bit much, so I cannot remember all of the arguments he put forth to 'prove' his point. Yet, I have thought about this since then and still cannot understand.

We are already fighting the 'War on Terror' and the 'War against Islamofascism' and the 'War against multiculturalism' and the 'War against Christmas' and the 'War yet to be Named'....well, you get my point...

Now those damn Commies are back too?! How can we possibly win?!

Why is it that everything is now a 'War'? Why is it that we, as Americans, are drawn into this "circle the wagons! the injuns are coming!" type of mentality? Is it the so called 'Liberal Media?'

Is it true that FOX is the only network that has uncovered this plot? If so, are they only letting certain people know, while the rest of us are being blindly converted?

I do not know the answers to these questions. However, the voices in my head are telling me that I must take my blue pill now and get my Che Guevara t-shirt out of the dryer...I never feel quite right when I do not have it on....

Workers of the World, Unite!!!!
(Why did I just write that? Oh well, no worries.)

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Damn women... no self control.

Let's see... I believe my last confession, err, I mean post, was on September 14th. That tragic day when I finally had the revelation, NO! the epiphany! that I was spending far too much time in front of my computer thinking that I could make the world a better...or at least more cynical...place.

A great deal has happened since that time. Want to hear about it? Exactly. I wouldn't either.

Even though I have not written in the last couple of months, I still read many of the blogs that I would 'banter' with before. That is the reason for this post. It seems that Ginger at Pell-Mell has infected me. From my understanding, the Bush Administration has known of this upcoming pandemic for quite some time, yet could not spare resources to develop a vaccine....

I mean, think about it- between the cost of the 'War on Terror' and paying journalists for good stories about the 'War on Terror', the coffers are just about empty.... just enough left for domestic spying and some God forsaken bridge in Alaska.

And really- If God loves you then you won't get sick anyway....right? RIGHT?!

(You didn't think I could just write without some political commentary now could you? I would hope you know me better than that!)

After frantically researching several prominent medical websites (Centers for Disease Control, WebMD, Playboy and Maxim to be exact) I found the answer. The only cure is to list five things about myself that most people would not know, and pass the infection on to others....sounds vaguely like "The Ring", does it not?

Since nobody can make you do something that you did not want to do anyway...

1. I have never been to college. Most people just assume that I did I guess. The certificate from Stanford the I printed and framed may have something to do with this...but I am not totally convinced.

2. I had a true shot at training with the U.S. Olympic swim team. I took up smoking instead. Hmmmm....one of my many outstanding life choices... And yes, breaststroke was my favorite... you bunch of sickos.

3. When I was a child I had such flat feet that I had to wear special shoes with super-arched insoles. Not a big deal, right? At that time, the only shoes available with those corrective insoles were black & white Stride-Rights. Seen Peanuts? Charlie Brown's shoes? I'm still in therapy over that.

4. If I could have my dream job, it would be restoring and modernizing old cars. Not the regular classics, but odd, really cool cars. For example- Why couldn't you take an old MG Midget and put in a turbocharged, fuel injected 4 cylinder, 4 wheel anti-lock disc brakes and a front and rear independent suspension? Yet leave the car looking as it originally did? That would be fun.

5. One of the main functions of my job is to interact with a variety of personalities, which I can usually do pretty well. However, I have very few people that I would call friends, much less close friends. This is by choice. I do not 'bond' with many individuals on that level.

Damn. That took longer than expected. Now, to lift this curse I must infect five others- Politik, 44 South Street, The Second Opinion, RAI and Reconstitution. Sorry, but better you than I!

I must admit, it has felt somewhat strange to write again. Yet enjoyable at the same time. I believe I may need to get back to this...there is still so much cynism to spread.

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Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Blogging Hiatus





















"Greed is good."
-Michael Douglas, Wall Street

I am on a hiatus while chasing the all-powerful dollar...hey, we all have our religion...mine will buy you a Porsche.

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Tuesday, September 06, 2005

'Compassionate Conservatism'


(Hat-tip: Reconstitution)

Quote link: Yahoo! News

Commenting on the facilities that have been set up for the evacuees -- cots crammed side-by-side in a huge stadium where the lights never go out and the sound of sobbing children never completely ceases -- former First Lady Barbara Bush concluded that the poor people of New Orleans had lucked out.
"Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this, this is working very well for them," Mrs. Bush told American Public Media's "Marketplace" program, before returning to her multi-million dollar Houston home.

On the tape of the interview, Mrs. Bush chuckles audibly as she observes just how great things are going for families that are separated from loved ones, people who have been forced to abandon their homes and the only community where they have ever lived, and parents who are explaining to children that their pets, their toys and in some cases their friends may be lost forever. Perhaps the former first lady was amusing herself with the notion that evacuees without bread could eat cake.

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Keith Olbermann

The "city" Of Louisiana

***Exactly what I have been saying....

SECAUCUS — Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff said it all, starting his news briefing Saturday afternoon: "Louisiana is a city that is largely underwater..."

Well there's your problem right there.

If ever a slip-of-the-tongue defined a government's response to a crisis, this was it.

The seeming definition of our time and our leaders had been their insistence on slashing federal budgets for projects that might’ve saved New Orleans. The seeming characterization of our government that it was on vacation when the city was lost, and could barely tear itself away from commemorating V.J. Day and watching Monty Python's Flying Circus, to at least pretend to get back to work. The seeming identification of these hapless bureaucrats: their pathetic use of the future tense in terms of relief they could’ve brought last Monday and Tuesday — like the President, whose statements have looked like they’re being transmitted to us by some kind of four-day tape-delay.

But no. The incompetence and the ludicrous prioritization will forever be symbolized by one gaffe by of the head of what is ironically called “The Department of Homeland Security”: “Louisiana is a city…”

Politician after politician — Republican and Democrat alike — has paraded before us, unwilling or unable to shut off the "I-Me" switch in their heads, condescendingly telling us about how moved they were or how devastated they were — congenitally incapable of telling the difference between the destruction of a city and the opening of a supermarket.

And as that sorry recital of self-absorption dragged on, I have resisted editorial comment. The focus needed to be on the efforts to save the stranded — even the internet's meager powers were correctly devoted to telling the stories of the twin disasters, natural... and government-made.

But now, at least, it is has stopped getting exponentially worse in Mississippi and Alabama and New Orleans and Louisiana (the state, not the city). And, having given our leaders what we know now is the week or so they need to get their act together, that period of editorial silence I mentioned, should come to an end.

No one is suggesting that mayors or governors in the afflicted areas, nor the federal government, should be able to stop hurricanes. Lord knows, no one is suggesting that we should ever prioritize levee improvement for a below-sea-level city, ahead of $454 million worth of trophy bridges for the politicians of Alaska.

But, nationally, these are leaders who won re-election last year largely by portraying their opponents as incapable of keeping the country safe. These are leaders who regularly pressure the news media in this country to report the reopening of a school or a power station in Iraq, and defies its citizens not to stand up and cheer. Yet they couldn't even keep one school or power station from being devastated by infrastructure collapse in New Orleans — even though the government had heard all the "chatter" from the scientists and city planners and hurricane centers and some group whose purposes the government couldn't quite discern... a group called The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.

And most chillingly of all, this is the Law and Order and Terror government. It promised protection — or at least amelioration — against all threats: conventional, radiological, or biological.

It has just proved that it cannot save its citizens from a biological weapon called standing water.

Mr. Bush has now twice insisted that, "we are not satisfied," with the response to the manifold tragedies along the Gulf Coast. I wonder which "we" he thinks he's speaking for on this point. Perhaps it's the administration, although we still don't know where some of them are. Anybody seen the Vice President lately? The man whose message this time last year was, 'I'll Protect You, The Other Guy Will Let You Die'?

I don't know which 'we' Mr. Bush meant.

For many of this country's citizens, the mantra has been — as we were taught in Social Studies it should always be — whether or not I voted for this President — he is still my President. I suspect anybody who had to give him that benefit of the doubt stopped doing so last week. I suspect a lot of his supporters, looking ahead to '08, are wondering how they can distance themselves from the two words which will define his government — our government — "New Orleans."

For him, it is a shame — in all senses of the word. A few changes of pronouns in there, and he might not have looked so much like a 21st Century Marie Antoinette. All that was needed was just a quick "I'm not satisfied with my government's response." Instead of hiding behind phrases like "no one could have foreseen," had he only remembered Winston Churchill's quote from the 1930's. "The responsibility," of government, Churchill told the British Parliament "for the public safety is absolute and requires no mandate. It is in fact, the prime object for which governments come into existence."

In forgetting that, the current administration did not merely damage itself — it damaged our confidence in our ability to rely on whoever is in the White House.

As we emphasized to you here all last week, the realities of the region are such that New Orleans is going to be largely uninhabitable for a lot longer than anybody is yet willing to recognize. Lord knows when the last body will be found, or the last artifact of the levee break, dug up. Could be next March. Could be 2100. By then, in the muck and toxic mire of New Orleans, they may even find our government's credibility.

Somewhere, in the City of Louisiana.

***He just knows how to say it better...